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A fiend with magical bunny-like powers
cordelianne
cordelianne
Happy Birthday shadowscast and Spike/Xander fic!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY shadowscast!!!!!!!!!!! It was such a blast being roommates with you at Writercon. I have such fond memories of staying up late discussing Spander, fanfic, fandom and other things I shall not reveal to the public with you, margarks and savoytruffle. And I’ll never forget you and I dominating an entire dinner conversation by talking about the weather - proving that Canadians do obsess about the weather! I hope you’re having a wonderful time on your birthday, and I wish you many fabulous delights!

In honour of your birthday I've written you a Spike/Xander ficlet. It could be seen as glimpse of life for S/X after It's Not (my most recent S/X fic), but it also stands on its own.

Title: Drive Me Crazy
Author: cordelianne
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: R
Word Count: 517
Feedback: Yes please. Concrit is very welcome by email.
Disclaimer: Not mine, Joss owns them.
Summary: Set post series. Spike and Xander are on the road together.
A/N: Thanks to the marvelous and awesome savoytruffle for the beta. All mistakes are mine.


Drive Me Crazy
by Cordelianne



“Another one.” Spike nods his head to the right.

Xander grimaces and squeezes his eye shut. “That’s like the seventh dead deer we’ve seen. You’re sure it’s not a bad omen or something?”

“Nah. Just that time of year.”

“Good.” Xander pokes Spike’s shoulder. “Then stop showing me them. You may still enjoy dead things, but I do not.”

Spike raises an eyebrow.

Xander sighs, mostly for Spike’s benefit. “Yeah, yeah, I guess the whole having sex with you technically means I like the dead. But you don’t count ‘cause you move and talk and other fun stuff – you’re reanimated dead … which still sounds creepy.”

“Just admit it, you’re a necrophiliac.” Spike trails his hand up Xander’s leg.

The hand is slapped away. “Hey!” Xander crosses his arms. “I can’t believe you’re using creepy talk as an invitation to feel me up.” Spike smiles. “And another thing, eyes on the road. Remember Dallas?”

A wistful expression crosses Spike’s face. “Good day.”

“Okay – you and me? Really different definitions of good. You totaled the car.” Xander pulls out his outraged tone. “I had to lie to Buffy and Giles to get us a new one. Okay, the lying to Giles isn’t new or hard but the lying to Buffy? I never lie to her.”

“Yeah, that was bad.” Spike waves his hand as if he’s brushing off Xander doing something minor like pay for his speeding tickets – something Xander has done for him. “But the crash was fun. And before the crash …” He leers at Xander.

Oh yeah, Xander remembers before.

Spike’s hands all over him, touching him, teasing him, driving him crazy. So crazy that he forgets they’re in a moving car, lies down, unzips Spike and does exactly what any sane person would not do while barreling down the freeway at 100mph.

At least it convinced Spike that those wacky newfangled seatbelts and airbags are actually good.

And, okay, Xander may be partially to blame for the Dallas incident. But why admit that right now?

“Awfully quiet there.” Spike’s fingers brush over his neck. “Fond memories?”

“Yes. I mean no. I mean …” Xander stares at an approaching billboard. “Oh my god.”

Keep using my name in vain, I’ll make rush hour longer – God,” Spike reads. “Guess you’ve just screwed us all.”

Xander turns his head and watches the back of the billboard get farther away. “Who pays for these? Cause God, being incorporeal and all – if he or she existed – wouldn’t be able to do that.”

“At least that one had a sense of humor.” Spike shakes his head. “Normally it’s all about fear. Good tactic – fear’ll get someone to do anything.”

“You’re like a Jedi master.” He tries to imagine Spike looking all Obi-Wan. Beige and brown aren’t Spike’s colors. “More like a Sith lord, really.”

“Want to call me ‘Lord’?” Spike’s smiling that wolfish grin of his, the one that causes Xander to have not very innocent thoughts. “Not really my thing.” Spike shrugs. “But if you want…”

“Yeah right.” Xander hits Spike on the arm. “Just keep driving, Darth Maul.”


*end*

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: content content
Current Music: Justin Timberlake's SexyBack

38 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
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(Deleted comment)
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 3rd, 2006 11:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yay to hee! I was giggling imagining Spike dressed as a Jedi, not a good look for him (I also wasn't a fan of that weird hooded robe he wore in Not Fade Away).

I'm pleased you enjoyed it and think it's perfectly them!! I've seen billboards like that from God and they always amuse me so I had to include it in this fic. Thanks for the lovely comment, babe! *g*
tabaqui From: tabaqui Date: December 2nd, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heeeeeee.
Yis.
:)

Don't overthink it, Xander. Just enjoy!
Hehe.
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 3rd, 2006 11:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yay to hee! *g* Oh yeah, Xander should definitely not overthink! Thank so much! *g*
bmblbee From: bmblbee Date: December 2nd, 2006 09:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Would love a blow by blow of Dallas. B.
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 3rd, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
heee - you know it had to be pretty hot to cause a car crash! Thanks! *g*
woman_of_ From: woman_of_ Date: December 2nd, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh car sex! Yippeee. And just loved the humour in it, excellent. Every word gave me a smile. Happy now :-)
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 3rd, 2006 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee - yay for car sex! That's lovely to hear that you enjoyed the humour and it made you happy! Thanks so much! *g*
margarks From: margarks Date: December 3rd, 2006 03:05 am (UTC) (Link)
hee! so silly! poor xander, spike is such a bother! :D I've also saved your fall spander fic to read later :)

*hugs*

I, too, will never forget the weather conversation! I can't believe you and shadowscast spent the night trying to outdo each other's natural disasters!! :D
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 12:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Yay for hee! Ah yes, poor Xander having to deal with Spike! ;) Thanks! Oh yay - that's lovely to hear that you've saved the fic to read! *g*

I felt I had to mention that since poor you and Camisha had to listen to that discussion! *hugs*
sunnyd_lite From: sunnyd_lite Date: December 3rd, 2006 03:51 am (UTC) (Link)
At least it convinced Spike that those wacky newfangled seatbelts and airbags are actually good This line really made me grin! A fun moment with the boys!

Of course Spike would play the necrophilia card, probably often!
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 12:44 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm pleased you liked that line! hee - I'm sure Spike would play the necrophilia card because it would be fun to get a reaction from Xander! Thanks so much! *g*
yourlibrarian From: yourlibrarian Date: December 3rd, 2006 03:58 am (UTC) (Link)
I like the idea that this is what they're up to after It's Not -- er, minus the car wrecks ;>
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 12:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh yay! I'm glad this works for you as a glimpse of their life post-It's Not. Hopefully there's less car wrecks! Thanks! *g*
shadowscast From: shadowscast Date: December 3rd, 2006 05:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my goodness, thanks so much!

And this is really hot, if slightly disturbing. Kinda makes me think of a Nickelback song, actually! (do you know the one?)

*hug* Again, thanks! This has been such an awesome day.
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 12:53 am (UTC) (Link)
You're welcome! I'm very happy that it was an awesome day!!

Yay for hot, if slightly disturbing! *g* hmmm, I'm not sure which Nickleback song - I'll have to look it up.

*hugs*
(Deleted comment)
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for letting me know you like that exchange - it was fun to write! Thanks! *g*
kitty_poker1 From: kitty_poker1 Date: December 3rd, 2006 03:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Spike’s hands all over him, touching him, teasing him, driving him crazy. So crazy that he forgets they’re in a moving car, lies down, unzips Spike and does exactly what any sane person would not do while barreling down the freeway at 100mph.

How could Xander resist? The crash is entirely understandable. *g*

Fun fic!
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 01:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Exactly! Xander's actions are completely understandable! I'm pleased you enjoyed. Thanks so much! *g*
(Deleted comment)
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 01:17 am (UTC) (Link)
They're really fun, aren't they?! Thanks! *g*
piratepurple From: piratepurple Date: December 3rd, 2006 10:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee!
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 01:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Yay! Thanks! *g*
untitleddemo From: untitleddemo Date: December 4th, 2006 01:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, heeeeeee! This was just too cute and clever, I really enjoyed it. I love the easy banter you created between them. Really fun, and what a lovely birthday present! :D
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 02:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Yay! I'm so pleased you enjoyed KZ! I love writing the S/X banter and it was fun to just write a short bantery fic. Thanks so much!! *g*
tempestsreach From: tempestsreach Date: December 4th, 2006 01:57 am (UTC) (Link)
*snicker*

I luffed them all, sorry I haven't commented before I just ran out of time to read. But well worth the wait. Excellent.
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 4th, 2006 02:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much, that's lovely to hear! I'm pleased you enjoyed! Thanks! *g*
apreludetoanend From: apreludetoanend Date: December 4th, 2006 12:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
“Just admit it, you’re a necrophiliac.” Spike trails his hand up Xander’s leg.

The hand is slapped away. “Hey!” Xander crosses his arms. “I can’t believe you’re using creepy talk as an invitation to feel me up.”


This was just brilliant and priceless. You've done a fantastic job with the banter, and more importantly, injecting the current plot and the backstory without it seeming at all forced. This is just a perfect example of everything I love about good Spander fic, and it's a fantastic continuation of the other series. Well done!

Oh, and this?

“Yeah right.” Xander hits Spike on the arm. “Just keep driving, Darth Maul.”

Definitely in the running for best last line ever!
cordelianne From: cordelianne Date: December 5th, 2006 11:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh yay! I'm pleased you enjoyed that sequence! This was one of those fun short fics to write - I love the Spander banter. I'm pleased to hear the plot and backstory didn't seem forced!
This is just a perfect example of everything I love about good Spander fic, and it's a fantastic continuation of the other series.
Thanks so much!! That's so lovely to hear!! *g*

Excellent! I'm so happy by your comment about the last line! Thanks for the awesome comment! *g*
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